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"Go ahead, do your worst!” The Bearded Man yelled as he spit out the last of his wine. This Tinder chick just wouldn’t stop talking, and it was beginning to torture our hero, who was far too polite to end the date early. This girl had some cojones, talking about how she invented this and had dinner with that, talked to dolphins here and won swimming contests with whales in the Galapagos and so on and so forth. “Oh let me guess, you invented music too?!” The Bearded Man snapped, and then she claimed she had. She said she was some kind of divine, ageless spirit that was committed to travelling the world, great music, and just chillin. She had tons of stories, many of them totally random, off-point and boring, but one out of every hundred or so was good for at least a small chuckle. The Bearded Man was sick of it when he looked down at his knife and saw his own reflection. “My god, she’s just like me…” He thought to himself. “Maybe I’ve been a real ass lately telling everyone about all the great stuff I used to do in the past, maybe I should settle down and get married. I think I’m falling in love…” And at that moment, the girl looked up and said: “Of course you are, dumbass, I’m hot!"
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